Few minute a go Victor call me at my phone, and tell all
to me.
I don’t know what can I say when Victor said about his
planning for want go out from this home town.
I feel like so
sad. Dan feel no have power in my body.
Am I broken heart ? I don’t know. Maybe yes.
Yes, I know,
all this time,
never we talk about Love in we relation.
We are close, all time together but never talk about want
to be in relationship.
Just be a friendship.
Kupang, mei – 2003
Dear Popy,
How are you ?
I need to talk with
you, but I know we just can do with latter.
You remember about
Victor ? I told you before in my latter ?
Until now, he
doesn’t have girl friend, same like me too.
I know need to
start from me, but … hhhh … im scared,Popy.
I close with him,
Every time I always
with him.
He always helping
me, he ready when I need somebody to be with me.
Talk , hang out,
happy, sad, scared, all feeling, he always know per second about me.
Everyday I learn to
understand what he want, what he like and all about him.
But never we talk
about LOVE in we relation.
First time when I
know him, we promise for be a good friends.
But, honestly…
Popy,
Lately, I don’t
know what happen with me …
I feel like want
him more than be friends,
I feel jealous when
I know he go out with other women ,
And if I not meet
him, mom said I always talk much about him.
Oh my God, I’m in
love with him
Popy, u hear me ?
I’m in love with Victor.
should be i'm
happy, right ? but back again I feel scared as of when he try to ask about we
relationship I try to divert at other topic.
So, it’s means I’m
a liar ? whereas, I love him.
Popy,
Shortly, Victor
want move to other city and he tell me that for work.
Are you think he
disappointed with me ? or it’s true, he never love me ?
What you think Popy
? tell me…
Should be i honest
to him about i'm in love with him ?
So, please tell
somethink to me . I’m wait ‘ur respon.
Oh,ya … please keep
this secret.
With
Love
-Dinda –
I read again at three times the letter I write for Popy.
Popy is my bestfriends when we at same high school but
now she continue study at Makassar and me still at Kupang. But we keep talk by
latter.
Today I write two latters. One for Popy and other for
Victor, and I will give him tomorrow when escorted to the port.***
“Dinda, Did you want we end like this ?”
“wew … what ?” my heart beating fast
“ah, forget it Nah…” his hand still take hold of me
“maybe, I have to much wish for be with you,” it’s sound
like complaint. Not take hold of but still look at my eyes.
“oh, this is for you” with smile
“letter ? what you wrote ?”
“hei …see, you will late, 10 minute and ship will depart” I push her back slowly
“good bye Vic, please take care … “
I'm really proud when i hear back my voice. So natural
and without the impression of fragile.
but God knows, my heart cried out painfully.
Victor, I love you ! ***
After three days …
I saw telephone on the table,really wish for the phone
was ringing.
thinking, what he do in there ? with who's ? and ..opss
...
phone's ringing. I almost jumped because shocked,
my eyes see at a clock. This the time Victor call me. He said to me before go.
He will call me. I hear the sound.
“Victor ?! it’s you there ?”
“Yeah”
“Din, i cancel my departure. Wait me, I
will meet you at home”
“I don’t know what you mean Victor
?” again, my heart beating fast
“Victor, what’s going on ? tell me, you kidding me huh ?”
“I didn’t”
“then what? Aaaaaaaa …!! Tell me,Nah ? you sick ? delay?
Or what ?”
“I cancel my departure. I told you. Seriously”
“what ?!”
“I tell you the true, I've read your letter and i really
understand about what you wrote.
Letter’s ? What I wrote in my letter’s ?
I remember, nothing have special I writing in my letter for him.
nothing serious.
Just a
little advice and prayer and taunts me
about the girls there
. Then, What needs to be understood?
“Din, I’m sorry. I had not been convinced by my own self.
If only I were
brave, you didn't need to ask about my feelings to you.
thankfully, there
is a letter that ...”
“Aaaaaaa…! Letter, letter, letter . You talk again about
letter. What’s the letter’s ?”
“you forgot, about you give me letter’s ?” Victor ask
“Yes, but … ?”
“Listen,listen to me, Din … you need to know and please believe. From many
guys that you worried, I'm the little
that” Victor voice began to soften.
I started to panic when the suspicion dawned that
suddenly came to mind. letter? is it possible?.
“Waittt …! You talk about what ?” Dinda ask for be clear
“ Talk about you, talk about me, talk about us.
Din, I’m
serious. I'm the guy who always believe
and appreciate your
honesty. are proud to receive you. because I ...”
“MEANS?” Dinda ask again.
Oh my God ! The letter’s. Sudden intense throbbing head.
“Letter, yeah … the letter’s. How can the
letter get to you, huh ?”
Impossible, letter sent for my bestfriend Popy in his
hand right now. And impossible to if i'm wrong to put the letter ! Impossible !!!
“Sorry if I read the letter, I know the letter is not for
me” Victor said
so, really.
My mistakenly to put the letter.
o, I didn't know, what to say. So,SHY!
And I almost slammed the phone, if Victor doesn't first
speak to me again.
“Now, I'm in front of your house.
I stood where we
chatted the last time meet. But first I want to apologize, for over three days
from the scheduled departure which to
cancel, I'm just at home.
I want to give a
surprise to you. So, what you wait ? Please, open the door for me, my love ...”
I hung up the phone, then I remove the remnants of tears
on my cheek and walked toward the door with a smile happily.
Finally,
"I'm coming, my love".
Adelweis
East Nusa Tenggara,
Mei -2003.
Translate,
East java,
Monday, September
12, 2011.